my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia
i kept reading this, waiting for the punchline. waiting for this to be one of tumblr’s witty and dry jokes. i’m still waiting.
DENTEN PRESENTS - TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AS READ BY THE CHARACTERS OF HOMESTUCK
The Cast (In Order Of Appearance):
John - Denten
Dave - Tooch
Jade - Fivetail
Rose - TotalSpiffage
Dirk - AMTRAX
Jake - Causticgambler
Jane - Kylee
Roxy - SaccharineSinger
Aradia - TotalSpiffage
Sollux - Case
Karkat - Case
Terezi - Afina
Tavros - Lolzman87
Kanaya - Kitsubasa
Nepeta - Katt
Vriska - Kylee
Equius - Kirbopher
Gamzee - Senilesnake
Feferi - Kylee
Eridan - James
Spades Slick - VeggieBLT
Clubs Deuce - Denten
Hearts Boxcars - VeggieBLT
Diamonds Droog - Kirbopher
Andrew Hussie - Kirbopher
Calliope - Kitsubasa
Caliborn - Bobcatxtreme
Doc Scratch - Motly Fool
Many thanks to all who were involved! You all did fantastic!
Happy holidays everyone!
GUESS WHAT TIME OF YEAR IT IS NOWW??
I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out as Really Mean: A 5-part documentary starring me.
I Was Trying To Be Loving And Supportive But I Probably Overstepped My Boundaries And Came Off as Creepy: a feature-length film with two sequels and a TV series adaption.
I Was Trying To Tell You I Relate To Your Difficult Situation But It Probably Sounded Like I Was Making It All About Me: a novel saga with several side book adaptions and a movie.
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